MISCmedia for 1/31/01
Consumer Sex

YESTERDAY, we discussed what's wrong withPlayboy these days. It's bland, corporate, materialistic to a festishist extent, and not particularly sexy.

Today, we begin to ponder an alternate vision-in-text of what sex is and can be in this new century.

And I don't mean that now-passe '90s vision, expressed in Wired magazine and elsewhere, of advanced masturbation helpers such as holographic pornos and "dildonic" sensor-fitted suits. Even at the time those things were being hyped, I believed sex ought to be about bringing people together, not keeping them apart in their lonely individual fantasy realms.

The world doesn't need more fake sex. It needs more real (albeit safe) sex. Sex is great. Most people should have more.

This means I think coitus (in whatever gender-combo you prefer) is preferable to solo sex; but, more importantly, that any (respectful) sexual expression is preferable to the squeaky-clean unreality promoted by the religious right and those high-school purity pledges.

Chastity is good, at least for periods of time, for (1) those adults who've chosen it as part of a spiritual discipline; (2) those young people who aren't yet ready for the emotional turmoil of intimate relationships (or for the discipline of contraception); (3) those in monogamous relationships who choose to forego alternatives during periods of separation; (4) those older and/or widowed people who've chosen to retire their sex lives; and (5) those in dysfunctional life patterns who need to take time out from intimacy while working to heal themselves.

But for the vast rest of the citizenry, more sex is, generally, mo' better.

It's not the answer to everything (and it's certainly not the only answer to an otherwise failing relationship).

But when it's done right, it can bring you to a greater awareness of yourself, your partner, and even to the continuum of life.

(It's also a great way to relieve nervous tension, invigorate your metabolism, and spot potential cancer warning signs.)

And the answer to bad sex, i most cases, isn't no sex but good sex--a healthy attitude towards one's body and its cravings, combined with enough guilt-free respect to avoid or resist abusive situations.

You don't prevent kids from getting exploited by keeping them ignorant and "innocent," but by teaching them to respect their sexualities and themselves. You don't prevent the spread of STDs by telling people they have to stay alone in shame and frustration, but by helping them learn to love safely and consciously.

NEXT: Just a little more of this.

ELSEWHERE:

• Questionable-taste marketing gimmick of the month: Faking a "murder conspiracy" about a real person to sell a movie....
• Cute li'l animated Muffin Films (found by Fark)....

RECENT HIGHLIGHTS:

• What's wrong with Playboy isn't what its most vocal critics claim is wrong with it.
• What we know so far about the new administration.
• A glimpse of our forthcoming coffee-table photo book.
• Still more new cable channels.
• Just when you thought the '70s revival was dead, here comes a new energy crisis.
• Should we pity poor Belltown yet?
• How to improve Ken Burns's Jazz.
• I know what IT is, and if you're nice I just might tell you.
• Yes, Virginia, there's race discrimination in "nice" Seattle.
• A Hollywood insider acknowledges the death of the mass audience.
• Lynda Barry's Cruddy is anything but.
• My dream of a permanent alternative daily paper.
• People you're not better than.
• Parts one, and two of a remembrance at some people, buildings, and institutions that are gone or going at this time.
• Parts one, two, and three of a look at the possible next-big-thing in pop-cult genre repositionings, Christian smut.
• A new arts magazine just for wealthy patrons.
• No, the WTO protests shouldn't just be remembered as a self-promotion exercise.
• What you might expect on this site during the new year.
• What's Insville and Outski for 2001.
• Parts one, two, three, and four of 'A Dot-Com Christmas Carol.'

ARCHIVES:

• 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, 1995, and 1986-94 columns
• Reviews of literature & art, nonfiction & culture criticism, movies & videos, and music & noise
• Longer articles and essays
• Some slightly weird little fiction pieces
• X-Word crossword puzzles, now with on-screen solving
• Cyber Stuff, links to cool and/or useful sites
• A listing of many Things I Like (and a few things I hate)
• The origin and future of MISCmedia