LAST FRIDAY, we discussed Susan Faludi's book Stiffed, in which she claims that there's no universal male conspiracy against women and that the socio-emotional problems faced by many current males are due neither to any supposed innate male evility nor to feminist ball-busters, but rather to a social and economic system that values money and power, and which devalues the personal worth of individuals of all genders.
Still, it's one thing for a female author of impeccible feminist credentials to speak out in sympathy toward men.
It might be even more provocative for a male to proclaim male equality--not superiority, but equality.
That's what illustrator/performance artist Douglas Davis did recently in two essays for the New York Press, "The Wick vs. the Prick: Heterophobia and the Gender Wars" and "Phallus Rising: Or, the Prisoner of Joy." (The original pieces are no longer on the paper's site (it maintains only its current issue on its site), but Davis has put it up somewhere on the "Hyper Texts" section of his own site and also has a forum site based on some of the ideas in them.)
Some of his ideas:
We need yang as much as yin; masculine energy can be a force for good; it's perfectly OK to be a male (or a female who actually likes males); and, if we play our cards right, the next century could lead toward a "Wild Future" in which we get beyond such superficial arguments and instead learn to celebrate our selves and our others' selves--female, male, straight, gay, bi, wild, mild, and everything else.
Some of my takes on these ideas:
I'm just old enough (42) to have discovered sex at the exact same time the mass media did. I didn't get the valuable lesson that if the media were lying to me about sex they must be lying to me about other topics. Nor did I grow up in an America where hardcore video was easily borrowable from your next-door-neighbor's parents' basement.
Early-'90s style hardcore porn turns me off, as do the Brit-inspired "bloke magazines" such as Maxim. Both are predicated on a soulless, brainless, heartless stereotype of male heterosexual desire; a stereotype ultimately not far from that of certain sexist female essayists.
Allegedly "sex positive" ideologies that try to limit the range of permissible nongay sexual behavior to masturbation, chaste S/M, and media-mediated fantasies only make things worse. They reinforce the ultimate loneliness of the late-modern condition. They promote the orgasm as just another consumer activity, no more life-changing or world-changing than a really good bottle of wine.
Yes, there will be a Wild Future. But not quite the way the "dildonics" advocates proposed it seven or eight years back. Rather, it will be a celebration of all sexualities (male as well as female; hetero as well as gay; "Total Woman" Christians as well as leather-Goth-neopagans). At its center will be the central act of biological existence, M/F coitus. In a post-mass world, all the countless other sex expressions (lesbian, gay, transgender, assorted fetishes and kinks) will continue to blossom; but the central act will remain the figurative maypole around which all these other variants dance their joyous dances, sometimes glancing back at the maypole and sometimes not.
I oppose the dichotomy that claims there can only be two kinds of nongay male sexuality: evil and suppressed. We must promote positive notions of masculinity, neither brutal nor emasculated, neither dominant nor submissive, not against women but with women.
(Some earlier, slightly redundant thoughts of mine on these topics are at this link.)
TOMORROW: A few more old buildings and their hidden tales.
ELSEWHERE:
- Maybe those dumb UK "bloke" magazines are doing some good after all: Brit teens supposedly get it on more than teens anywhere else....
- "Make an X beside each punch line that you remember the story that goes with it...."
- In accordance with her recent publicity tour, some choice Lily Tomlin one-liners for your not-quite-pleasure....
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