AD OF THE WEEK (on the Stranger Bulletin Board page): "Lesbian
Guitar Teacher." Hmm, an instructor in the heretofore-underappreciated art of
the Lesbian Guitar: I could go for the cheap anatomical-reference jokes every
guitar student's heard or said at one time, but instead will ponder "Lesbian
Guitar" as a specific musical form. Could it be the ever-so-earnest acoustic
fret-squeakin' of Holly Near or Ferron? The somewhat more
humanistic, yet still stolid, chord-thumpin' of Phranc? The electrified
"Torch and Twang" of early k.d. lang?
It's the curse-in-disguise of all these women (and others of their various
ilks) that they're known first as statement-makers, second as stage presences,
third as singers, and almost not at all as instrument-players. This neglect of
the role of music in female-singer-songwriter-ing is at least partly
responsible for the near-total lack of female instrumentalists on both
Lilith Fair package tours. It dogged Bikini Kill throughout their
career; it took that band's co-leader Kathleen Hanna to start a whole
new concept with a whole different instrumentation (Julie Ruin) for some
critics to even notice that she'd been a darned-good musician all this time.
(Lesbian-led bands that have gotten at least partial critical notice for their
actual playing, such as Team Dresch, are
exceptions that prove the rule.) Elsewhere in tune-land...
CLOSING TIME?: An NY Times story (10/15) discussed the precipitous
decline of commercial rock as a music-biz force, noting sales charts now
dominated by rap and rap/R&B hybrid acts. One quoted industry expert said
"the Seattle bands" had been rock's last best hope, but Nirvana ended and Pearl
Jam got lost in its politics and the whole Rock Reformation got sidetracked.
I'd put the blame on the suckiness of chain-run rock radio and MTV, which have
bled the patient (themselves) to near-death with their repitition, selection of
awful bland-rock acts, and stupidity. Of course, the suckiness of corporate
rock radio (and of corporate rock promotion in general) is one of the things
the Seattle bands had been trying to rebel against. Speaking of getting lost in politics...
BUMPER STICKER OF THE WEEK (seen in Belltown): "Chris Cornell for Mayor."
Actually, why not? If business success is the only prerequesite for a political
career, Cornell sure counts. He and his Soundgarden bandmates started an enterprise from
scratch, which grew steadily into a multimillion-buck operation that helped put
Seattle on the music-biz map. (He's even begun to assert a political worldview,
having participated in that joint petition to Al Gore on behalf of old-growth
forest preservation.)
LOCAL PUBLICATION OF THE WEEK: Steve Mandich's Heinous #5 (the first
issue in three years) is a professionally-written, DIY-printed mini-size zine,
bound with strings of old audio-cassette tape. Topics include the Seattle
Pilots (our ill-fated first MLB team), '70s self-made celebrity The Human Fly,
women's motorcycle-jumping champ Debbie Lawler, rock records about Evel
Knievel, and a Bob Newhart career retrospective for a change-O-pace. ($2
from P.O. Box 12065, Seattle 98102, or by email request to smandich@teleport.com.)
EX-LOCAL PUBLICATION OF THE WEEK: Not only is commercial film production in
Washington at an even lower ebb this year than last, but even
MovieMaker, the slick magazine about indie filmmaking, suddenly moved
from Seattle to L.A. over the summer. Does that mean no remaining hope for true
indie (i.e., totally non-L.A.) filmmaking?
SCREEN PATTERNS: Actually, the reasons for the repertory program's move to
the Egyptian have little to do with the filmgoing tastes of college students
and more with Landmark (née Seven Gables) Theaters' schemes. 7G started
repertory movies in Seattle at the Moore, which was where the Seattle International Film Festival also had
started. Then Landmark came to town and bought the Neptune in the U District,
driving 7G out of the repertory side of the biz until Landmark bought 7G. From
there, Landmark decided to use the Neptune for hi-profile new releases,
shunting the rep films to the smaller Varsity. Now it's repositioning the
Egyptian as the "Year Round Film Festival" theater.
(Still no word, by the way, about Landmark's corporate fate. Last we heard, its
current owner, financier John Kluge (who made a fortune selling five TV
stations to Rupert Murdoch and promptly lost much of that fortune in Orion
Pictures) had put the chain up for sale.) Meanwhile, Seattle's other
ex-locally-owned theater chain, the onetime Sterling Recreation Organization
circuit now part of Cineplex Odeon, quietly had a change of management
in recent months. CO's now jointly owned by Sony and Seagram (whose respective
studio units, Columbia and Universal, were the only major Golden Age Hollywood
studios that hadn't been connected to theater chains back in the '40s).
MATERIAL BOY: Last week, I asked for your suggestions on new career moves
I, your long-underemployed author, could take. A few of you didn't quite get
the "career" part of it (such as those who thought I should start a
cable-access show or other unpaid stuff). Other responses generally fell into a
few main categories, among them the following:
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1. "Just write the same column but not about Seattle." Easily the most
common response. But not as easy as it sounds. Having observed the modest
syndication success of Savage Love (one of only a half-dozen successful
syndicated columns ever in "alternative" weeklies), I can appreciate the
conceptual work required for one. I can't just offer these papers an unlocal
version of my regular commentary work, nor could I hook 'em on something their
own staffs can produce (movie reviews, etc.). Besides, part of the whole point
of this particular column concept is that it's from one particular place at one
particular time, even when it discusses the products of the far-off
entertainment conglomerates. No, the Misc. shtick wouldn't adapt well to
the everywhere/nowhere of the national media universe. I'd have to start from
scratch with a whole new column concept. (Which isn't to say that I can't or
won't.)
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2. "Become a national magazine freelance writer." There are prospects more
depressing than the freelance life as lauded in old Writer's Digest
magazines (sitting in one's home-office, sending the same "sure-fire" article
proposals out to everybody from Grit to Cracked while
cross-referencing all their rejections on index cards), but I can't think of
many right now.
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3. "Chuck it all and go live (someplace warm) (in the country) (in NY/LA)."
No; this little corner of Canadian-style propriety inside the U.S. (without
Canada's quaint accents or gun control or universal health care) is and will be
my home. I could use some more travel, though. Anybody wanna fund my
Searchin'-4-America book?
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4. "Forget writing as a means of income, and take on a real career."
Thought about this one a lot, and still do. I've sent out lotsa resumes,
attended the last High-Tech Career Expo, and scour the want ads for new
exciting opportunities. Some of these pursuits (or at least fantasies about
them) might lead to adventures or misadventures I'll mention in future weeks.
Imagine following me along as a taxi driver, meat cutter, stripper at
bachelorette parties, legal assistant, or house painter.
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5. "Go into business for yourself." I am, to the extent I can afford to.
This site may become more commercialized and more elaborate. The long-promised
Best of Misc. book could appear as early as Xmas. There might be other
assorted ventures as well. I'm already designing the T-shirts and looking at
your-own-brand-on-the-box cereal makers. So while the global economy might be
iffy, I'll do everything possible to make Misc. World a more vibrant,
economically robust place. Unless, of course, I win at Quinto one of these
weeks.
TO CLOSE, some words-O-wisdom from the recently-deceased former TV Guide reviewer Cleveland Amory: "`Action-packed' means the boys can't act
but the girls are stacked."
(Our next reader quiz: What does Seattle need? The full essay and invite will
appear in next week's column, but you can send in your ideas now to
clark@speakeasy.org.)
