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THE WOMAN I’M LOOKING FOR
February 14th, 2012 by Clark Humphrey

Last June, I wrote a piece entitled “Notes to a Potential Girlfriend.

That piece was all about me.

This time, I’m fantasizing/riffing about who I would like that potential girlfriend to be.

She would be, more or less, as follows:

  • Any adult age; though if you’re much younger, be aware that I don’t stay up ’til 2 as often as I used to.
  • Any ethnicity, skin color, or hair color.
  • Won’t try to convert me into becoming a Christian, a vegan, a stoner, or a Libertarian.
  • Will let me keep my “room of one’s own;” will let me keep it messy.
  • Will let me hold, more or less, to my odd (but never deliberately so) tastes in food, music, apparel, and entertainment. Will let me continue to own and use a television.
  • Believes in gender equality, in BOTH directions.
  • Allows my needed daily work-at-home time.
  • More into soul-melding, intimate lovemaking than porn-style fucking.
  • Progressive populist, not alt-culture elitist. (i.e., not a square-basher.)
  • Not a female me, which couldn’t exist anyway. A complement rather than a clone.
  • Notices things I don’t notice. Knows things I don’t know (which covers, I admit, a LOT of ground).
  • Has an open and voracious mind.
  • Cares about people and the future and stuff.
  • Sees the heart and humanity in other people, no matter what their niche or lifestyle.
  • Has eyes that light up the night, and lips to melt into.
  • Equally at home in social and private situations.
  • A “city mouse.” (I’m not moving to Bainbridge.)
  • Preferably not currently married. Preferably.
  • NS/LD.
  • Preferably without preteen kids (but that’s not a requirement).
  • Preferably without implants (but that’s not a requirement).
  • Isn’t looking for a guy with money (goes w/o saying).
  • Isn’t looking for an “enabler.”
  • Doesn’t need to conform to others’ standards of “nonconformity” (ideology-wise or fashion-wise).
  • Tells me what she wants; doesn’t just expect me to already know.
  • Relatively free of psychotic episodes.
  • Centered, self confident, and comfortable in her self.
  • Believes love is more important than self righteousness.
  • Believes in herself, in others, and in me.

One Response  
  • Katie writes:
    February 16th, 201210:14 amat

    I think this is a grand start to a Match.com or other personal ad. You pretty well lay it out, and you’re reasonable. Reasonable in such ads are, in my limited experience, a huge plus and attractive. Go, Clark, Go!


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