MISCmedia for 4/23/01
Outside Kozmo-polis

HERE'S MY TAKE on why Net-based delivery outfits have collapsed (Kozmo.com, Pets.com), merged away (HomeGrocer.com), or are on the verge of demise (Webvan.com).

It's not just that these enterprises had to Get Big Fast by building real-world inventories, infrastructures, and staffs on what used to be known as "Internet Time."

They were also based on a faulty premise from the start.

These concepts were devised by tech-biz moguls and wannabe tech-biz moguls who lived in Frisco, Manhattan, and horse country, and who imagined that all of urban America had the lifestyles of tech-biz moguls who lived in Frisco, Manhattan, and horse country.

I.e., they presumed the existence of tens of millions of folk with lotsa disposable income, little or no disposable time, and either no individual vehicle or no major supermarkets or strip malls nearby.

But as it turned out, the suburban lifestyle has yet to take a serious popularity hit. Most middle- and upper-caste Americans have never needed to get their dog food or cat litter delivered UPS Ground, or for their Frosted Flakes to arrive via private courier.

And those who did need or at least enjoy the service didn't like it enough to pay the extra costs neded to make it all viable. (Part of the genius of/trouble with superstore/strip-mall marketing is the amount of "hidden" distribution costs passed on to consumers by making them drive to ever-larger, ever-further-apart emporia.)

I was an occasional Kozmo.com customer, and still am an Albertsons.com customer. Delivery isn't just a convenience to me; it's a vital building block of the New Urbanism. We need to promote more car-free living (not just commuting).

But the way to build such alternatives isn't with centralized, top-down, venture-capital-funded, high-profile, high-burn-rate Big Ideas. It's with street-level, little-guy entrepreneurial efforts, rooted in their localities and in touch with customers' needs.

There's already a small company in town that handles deliveries for local restaurants. As part of its schtick, it also offers a small selection of convenience-store items. I can't see why the same can't be done for video rentals, staple groceries, etc., without the dot-com hype and with old-fashioned service.

NEXT: Turn On TV Week.

IN OTHER NEWS: I've continued to delay the transformation of this site's main page to the increasingly popular "welbog" format. Still haven't figured out how to replicate all the page's features in one of those scripted weblog programs.

ELSEWHERE:

• You know those weird new corporate names out there? Turns out there are companies that do nothing but make up those names!...
• Confused by our language's weird spelling rules and exceptions? One guy recommends: Don't worry about it....

RECENT HIGHLIGHTS:

• The Bush regime compared with the novel Underworld.
• A Chant, re: the art of Art Chantry.
• Joey Ramone reaches the ultimate sedation.
• John Keister gets canceled again, apparently.
• Tulipomania redux.
• Parts one, two, three, four, and five of a tour through every home I've lived in.
• Parts one and two of a guest columnist's reminiscences of beer, basements, and playing Dungeons and Dragons.
• Mulling still more potential changes to the site.
• Memories of the radio station formerly known as KCMU.
• Thanks to the Net, some folks are writing more. That's supposed to be a bad thing?
• Remember rain?
• In defense of DIY publishing.
• A special offer on slightly-hurt Losers.
• Parts one and two of Boeing becoming just another global corporation.
• Could you be turning into a hippie without even knowing it?
• Is it time to privatize welfare customer-service?
• Tell me a story.
• A TV critic faces cancer.
• Music to accompany the mattress mambo.
• Goodbyes to film critic John Hartl, the outre-music zine The Tentacle, and some cool stores.
• A last lingering look inside the OK Hotel.

ARCHIVES:

• 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, 1995, and 1986-94 columns
• Reviews of literature & art, nonfiction & culture criticism, movies & videos, and music & noise
• Longer articles and essays
• Some slightly weird little fiction pieces
• X-Word crossword puzzles, now with on-screen solving
• Cyber Stuff, links to cool and/or useful sites
• A listing of many Things I Like (and a few things I hate)
• The origin and future of MISCmedia