MISCmedia for 9/21/00
I Am (Not) Canadian

LIKE THE PRE-DOT-COM SEATTLE, Canada has long been a place whose most prominent cultural identity has centered on its collective moping about whether it has a cultural identity.

And like the old Seattle stereotype, the subsidiary tenets of the Canadian stereotype are of a generic North American region with a smidgen more politeness than most, and an economy centered around the hewing of wood and the gathering of water.

Seattleites cry and wail whenever a beloved little sliver of what used to pass for "unique," or at least locally-thought-up, culture goes away (a condo-ized old apartment building, a low-rise downtown block).

Canadians had been so apparently starved for a show of national pride that when one came along a year and a half ago or so, citizens rallied around it and even took to memorizing its lines. This unifying object of nationalistic fervor? A beer commercial.

When I visited Vancouver again last week, I set out in specific search of the Canadian (or at least a Vancouver) spirit. Something defining "Our Neighbors to the North" as more than just other than U.S. folk.

I arrived in time to see the first all-Canadian episodes of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

In a Mother Jones essay years ago, Canadian author Margaret Atwood claimed her first experience of unfairness came while reading the ads on the insides of Popsicle wrappers, offering cool little toys and trinkets in exchange for a few hundred wrappers--but closing with the fine-print disclaimer, "Offer Not Available In Canada."

Similarly, a lot of the appeal of Millionaire is that any adult with a wide knowledge of useless trivia can become a contestant. You don't have to live in L.A. and go through two or more rounds of in-person auditions.

But you do have to be a U.S. citizen.

The CTV network has aired the U.S. edition of the British-born show, to handsome ratings, despite its viewers' ineligibility to be contestants. The show's done so well that the normally tight-spending CTV commissioned two hour-long episodes just for itself. It hired a Canadian host (one of its own talk-show stars), recruited Canadian contestants and audience members, and devised Canadian-content questions.

But then, to save some money, it had the specials produced in New York, using the set and crew of the ABC Millionaire.

(Yes, you heard it right: A Canadian TV show shot in the U.S.! Truly an anomaly of X-Files level weirdness.)

Anyhoo, the two episodes got more viewers than any domestically-produced entertainment show in Canadian TV history, even though no contestant won more than C$64,000 (about US$44,000; still the most ever won on a Canadian game show). CTV promised that later this season, Canada will become the umpteenth nation to air its own regular Millionaire series. A triumph of fairness for all the bespectacled, bad-hair-day-prone egghead guys from Missasagua to Kamloops, but not necessarily an ingredient in the country's endless search for a Unique Cultural Identity.

Or maybe not. According to one critic, writing on the newsgroup alt.tv.game-shows:

"I have this ugly feeling that [CTV host Pamela Wallin] or perhaps the Canadians involved feel that she needs to do different things than Regis Philbin in order to make the show distinctively Canadian. This is one of the most common (and most exasperating) traits Canadians tend to have: we follow the lead of the USA, but add some so-called Canadian spin so that we can reassure ourselves that we're not Americans. PW went mildly anti-Regis: no jokes, no fast pace, heck, no accent! If she'd just relax and stop trying so hard to be Canadian, it'd all work better."

Maybe "trying so hard to be Canadian" really IS Canada's unique cultural identity. Except that it's darn close to Seattle's cultural identity.

TOMORROW: Other Canadian-adventure notes.

IN OHER NEWS: If there's a place where an "English-language-only" rule is especially inappropriate, it'd be among international long-distance operators.

ELSEWHERE:

• The role of human values in design....
• "The folks who move to Pioneer Square and bitch about the drunks are as bad as the yuppies who move to Carnation and complain about the smell of cow shit...."
• Send a banned book to censor-wannabe Joe Lieberman today!...

RECENT HIGHLIGHTS:

• The disappearance of the basic bicycle.
• Beyond the ol' environment-vs.-jobs dichotomy.
• Mayor Paul Schell's endgame.
• Appreciating the genius of Emmett Watson.
• So I finally got a Razor scooter.
• Both big Presidential candidates are chummy with would-be censors.
• Multiplex bankruptcies, coming to a theater near you.
• Riding the Mariners' roller coaster.
• What's still right with Bumbershoot.
• A local zine remembers a fallen bicycle messenger.
• Fun with the BBC America cable channel.
• Why I've never been to Burning Man.
• A new fiction collection recalls Belltown before the dot-com era.
• Nostalgia for the Bell System.
• A skate punk museum exhibit inspires parts one and two of an '80s-nostalgia deconstruction.
• Cirque du Soleil pitches its tent in Renton's Lazy B country.
• The best Northwest trivia book ever written.
• Should I reinvent myself for easier self-branding?
• Is there a cure for the Ideavirus?
• Pondering, again, this little venture's future.

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