The Microsoft File Book reviews for The Stranger, 9/15/98 The Microsoft File: The Secret Case Against Bill Gates by Wendy Goldman Rohm (Times Books/Random House) $25 Bill Gates' Personal Super Secret Private Laptop by Henry Beard, John Boswell, and Ron Barrett (Simon & Schuster) $13.95 If you don't know much about the federal, state, and competitors' accusations against the Redmond Software Behemoth, this might be a relatively painless place to start. Over the course of some 300 pages spanning some 10 years, Rohm slowly conveys the various, wide-ranging complaints made against MS (that it's hustled and bullied people around in order to maintain its lock on PC operating systems and to leverage that monopoly into full market control of applications software, Internet browsers, and electronic commerce). But if you're already familiar with the basics of the story, Rohm's slow-yet-hurried pace and her convoluted attempts to stick it all into a "human interest" linear narrative may leave you almost as frustrated as, say, trying to remove the Internet Explorer icons from a Win98 desktop. She seems less interested in the case of U.S. v. Microsoft than in her soap-opera sagas of its players. That's the only obvious reason for her frequent side allegations concerning the premarital Gates' sex life (concerning one alleged tryst: "She was beautiful. It didn't matter that she was paid"). Like Ken Starr, Rohm apparently believes an unrepressed libido's a telltale sign of an unworthy character. Also like Starr, she apparently wants to sway public opinion against her target more than to gather and disseminate factual matter. Despite Rohm's obsessions, Gates' character isn't the real issue; it's his company's actions and their legality. Besides, much of the world already sees Gates as a near-mythical figure of limitless ambition and limited conscience. It's enough of a premise for National Lampoon vet Henry Beard and his partners to create a whole picture book purportedly consisting of screen shots from Gates' own PC. Some typical gags involve a proposed Star Trek script with himself as the hero, a hype-generation program that "changes comparative adjectives to superlatives," a Perrier-filled wading pool for baby daughter Jennifer, proposed "on-screen error messages so users will blame themselves for foul-ups and glitches," and in-house acronyms such as "OGITWEP (Our goal is the whole enchilada, period)." Nothing in it's actually funny, but it's a telling document about exploitable public sentiments toward the fifth-richest American in history.

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