My Past Lives Weird fiction piece by Clark Humphrey 11/21/90 In my past lives, I was: A cop who spoke out against bashing union organizers, and who received as his reward the chance to die as a "hero" in a "failed ambush" on a well-connected gangster. An anonymous subscription-fulfillment clerk at Time-Life in Chicago, who had two kids, raised prebred cocker spaniels, and died at age 55. The last survivor of the battle at Fort McHenry. Bing Crosby's piano player's piano tuner. A starlet who fucked five studio executives but only got as far as a bit part as a murder victim. The mother of twins who had a fatal heart attack upon learning that one had become pregnant by the other's husband. The grand prize winner of a berth on the first postwar cruise to Europe. Goya's mistress. A nurse who treated 17 malaria victims in one day, and heard of at least three of them surviving. An English society matron who successfully bid on the last hat made with the feathers of the last bird of a species that had become extinct due to the making of these hats.

2001 COLUMNS 2000 COLUMNS 1999 COLUMNS 1999 COLUMNS 1998 COLUMNS 1997 COLUMNS 1996 COLUMNS 1995 COLUMNS 1986-94 COLUMNS ESSAYS FICTION X-WORDS 'THE BIG BOOK OF MISC.' THE BOOK 'LOSER' MISCmedia, THE MAGAZINE FUTURE PROJECTS CYBER STUFF THINGS I LIKE 'MISC. TALK' DISCUSSION FORUM CLARK'S CULTURE CORRAL: BOOKS, MUSIC, MOVIES REVIEWED AND SOLD Books Popular Music Classical Music Video (Support MISC. Media; make your Amazon.com purchases thru this link.)