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TWENTY-OH-SEVEN, SHAKEN NOT STIRRED
Dec 31st, 2006 by Clark Humphrey

It’s the madcap return of the MISCmedia In/Out List.

As always, this, the most accurate In/Out list published anywhere, compiles what will become hot and less-hot in the upcoming year, not necessarily what’s hot and less-hot at this current point in time. If you believe everything that’s hot now will just keep getting hotter in the future, we’ve got some Skykomish River waterfront cabins to sell you.


INSVILLE


OUTSKI

OxyWash

Oxycontin


The N

Disney Channel

Falu red

Taupe

Portland envy


NYC envy

Sanity


Hubris

Compassion


Pomposity

North

South

’90s nostalgia


’80s nostalgia

Flips


Mullets

Puppets

CGI

Bollywood

Vancouver

Beyonce

Britney

Women in politics


Drunken heiresses

Class

Ostentation


Tweed

Denim

Calligraphy


Embroidery

Budapest

Cancun


Anne Hathaway

Lindsay Lohan

Trader Joe’s

Whole Foods

Transsexuals

Trans-fats

Green tea


Red Bull

Walla Walla

Odwalla

YouTube


MySpace

Cointreau

Jagermeister

Saving the Sonics

Saving the P-I

Supporting small business


Bashing Wal-Mart

Hockey

Soccer

Xbox 360

Nintento Wii

Cottages

McMansions (still)

M&M’s Dark

Russell Stover

IFC Films

Weinstein Company


Bartell’s

Walgreen’s

HDTV

MyNetwork TV

“Vitamin beer”

PBR (still)

Sacha Baron Cohen

Will Ferrell


“Netroots” politics

Sleazy campaign commercials


KPTK

KTTH

Jack Black

Jack White

Inuyasha

Yu-Gi-Oh!

Biofuels

Biofeedback

My Name Is Earl

According to Jim

Ugly Betty

Project Runway

Amy Hempel

Amy Sedaris

Decemberists

Nickelback

Post-conservative

Post-modern

Blended families

Celebrity adoptions
GET YOUR KICKS IN TWENTY-OUGHT-SIX!
Dec 30th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

It’s the madcap return of the MISCmedia In/Out List, the longest-running and most accurate list of its type anywhere in the western hemisphere.

As long-term readers know, this is a prediciton of what will become hot and not-so-hot in the months to come. If you think everything hot now will just keep getting hotter forever, I’ve got some Mariners season tickets to sell you.


INSVILLE

OUTSKI

Netflix

Blockbuster


Sudoku

Doom

HDNet

USA Network

Love


Fear

Staged withdrawal

Permanent occupation

Podcasting


Satellite radio

Lap-dance ban repeal

Smoking ban repeal

Home theaters

Home gyms

Guiding Light


Passions

Seahawks (but you knew that)

Sonics (but you knew that)

Overstock.com

The Store Formerly Known as The Bon Marche

Burgundy

Tan

Bratz (back from “Outski” status in ’04)

Hello Kitty

Friends with benefits

Jobs with benefits


Saving America

Saving yourself

Mother-in-law apartments

McMansions

Pokies

Thongs


Heath Ledger

Russell Crowe

Emmanuelle Devos

Naomi Watts

Grey’s Anatomy

One Tree Hill

Session Lager

Budweiser Select

Rebuilding New Orleans

Deconstructing texts

Progressive populists


Power whores

Pearls Before Swine

Sally Forth

The Colbert Report

MSNBC

Soulseek


Sony BMG

Political revolution

Nintendo Revolution

Johnny Cash fetishism

Jimi Hendrix fetishism

New Thunderbird

Explorer

CortiSlim

Atkins

Butter Crown

Red Bull and vodka


Bacon

Tofurkey

Dental tourism

Eco-tourism

Minneapolis

Cincinnati

Istanbul

Havana


“I wish I knew how to quit you”

“All your base are belong to us”


Sonnets

Sound bytes
THE OLD IN-AND-OUT DEPT.
Dec 29th, 2004 by Clark Humphrey

Once again, it’s time for the annual return of the MISCmedia In/Out List, the longest-running and most accurate list of its type anywhere in the western quadrant of the northern hemisphere.

As long-term readers know, this is a prediciton of what will become hot and not-so-hot in the months to come. If you think everything hot now will just keep getting hotter forever, I’ve got some Thailand beachfront timeshares to sell you.


INSVILLE

OUTSKI

Reality

Reality shows

Happy Bunny

Hello Kitty

Purple

Red vs. Blue

Pixar

Disney (still)

Adult Swim

Jay Leno

Jon Stewart

Tucker Carlson

Animal Planet

G4TechTV

Jena Malone (Saved!)

Jennifer Aniston

Blythe

Bratz

KBTC

KCTS

Carrie Akre

Karaoke

Euro

Dollar

Kobe beef

Kobe Bryant

Thirties

Fifties

Novels

Video games

Desperate Housewives

Soccer moms

Empathy

Hubris

Hookers as heroes

Pimps as heroes

Iowa

Texas

The Nation

The New Republic

BBQ

Fusion cuisine

New Doctor Who

Revenge of the Sith

Harvey Danger reunion

Cher farewell tour

UW basketball

UW football

Everett Events Center

Qwest Field

Made in USA

Made in China

Programmed in USA

Programmed in India

Filmed in Seattle

Set in Seattle, filmed in Vancouver

Overstock.com

HouseValues.com

Stupid Prices

Big Lots

Work

Workfare

Hydrogen

Hydrocarbons

Spongebob Squarepants (still)

Yu-Gi-Oh!

Cities

Exurbs

Kmart-Sears merger

ConocoPhillips

RVs

Yachts

Verizon Wireless

T-Mobile

Wales

New Zealand

Democracy for America
Democratic Leadership Council

Draft dodging

Dodgeball

Western wear (again)

Ultra-pointy shoes

Cell phone text messaging

Gmail

Scion

Land Rover

Dogs the size of cats

Cats the size of dogs

South Lake Union

West Edge

Tacoma Art Museum
MOHAI

Yahtzee

Poker
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!
Dec 13th, 2004 by Clark Humphrey

Yep, time for that annual tradition that’s almost as old as Kwanzaa and older than e-greetings, the MISCmedia In/Out List. Send your nominations this week to our handy-dandy email addy.

Remember, we’re looking for what will become hot or not-so-hot during the course of Ought-Five, not necessarily what’s hot and not-so-hot right now. If you think everything that’s hot now’s gonna just keep getting hotter forever, I’ve got some pot-bellied pigs to sell you.

IN/OUT FOR '04
Dec 31st, 2003 by Clark Humphrey

HEY EVERYBODY! It’s the madcap return of the MISCmedia In/Out List, the longest-running and most accurate list of its type anywhere in the western hemisphere.

As long-term readers know, this is a prediciton of what will become hot and not-so-hot in the months to come. If you think everything hot now will just keep getting hotter forever, I’ve got some Cubs World Series T-shirts to sell you.


INSVILLE

OUTSKI

Young & Restless

The O.C.

Fotolog.net

Friendster.com

iPod

The new Napster

Duck Dodgers

House of Mouse

Imitating Blind Date

Imitating Jackass

Granddaddy

Kid Rock

Fountains of Wayne

Kings of Leon

IFC Films

Paramount

Peaches

Herb

NoSweat

Old Navy

Saving Eddie Bauer

Saving Medicare

Any other baseball team

Yankees

Any other basketball team

The Lucking Fakers

Paul Martin

Tony Blair

Green Cine

Blockbuster

Neo-power-pop

Rap-metal

Quakers

Baptists

Maroon houses

Maroon hair

Dean as electable candidate

Dean as party-killer

Believing in global warming

Believing in wrestling

Convicting corporate crooks

Prosecuting online escorts

Columbia City

Fremont

Poker shows

Judge shows

Thongs (still)

Boxers

King Street Station restoration (finally)

Viaduct replacement


Regime change (domestic)

Regime change (export)

Democracy

Demographics

Real health care reform

Placating HMOs and drug cos.

IPA

PBR

Cialis

Flonase

International Channel

Spike TV

Mini (still)

Hummer (still)

“Bonus features unrated”

“Professional driver, closed course”

Website banner ads

Spam

MILFs

Nymphets

YOU'VE ONLY THIRTEEN DAYS…
Dec 10th, 2003 by Clark Humphrey

…to send in your recommendations for the fantabulous annual MISCmedia In/Out List for Ought-Four. Remember, this is a prediction of what will become hot and not-so-hot in the coming year. Not everything that’s hot now will just keep getting hotter, but those of you with hurtin’ 401k plans already know that.

THE INNIES AND THE OUTIES
Dec 29th, 2000 by Clark Humphrey

THE TRADITION CONTINUES: For the 15th consecutive year, here’s your fantastical MISCmedia In/Out List. Thanks to all who contributed suggestions.

As always, this list predicts what will become hot or not-so-hot over the course of the Year of HAL 9000; not necessarily what’s hot or not-so-hot now. If you think every person, place, thing, or trend that’s big now will just keep getting bigger forever, I’ve got some dot-com stocks to sell you.

(P.S.: Most every damned item on this list has a handy weblink. Spend the weekend clicking and having fun.)

INSVILLE

OUTSKI

White kids who wish they were doo-wop singers

White kids who wish they were pimps

Seattle Union Record

Seattle Scab Times

Canadian Football League

Xtreme Football League

The print version of Nerve

Hardcore pay-per-view

Classic Arts Showcase

TNN

Christian sex clubs

Abstinance preaching

The American Prospect

The Weekly Standard

Retro burlesque

Thong Thursday

Razor scooters (still)

General Motors

Independent publishing

eBooks

Jon Stewart (now more than ever)

Chris Matthews

Dot-orgs

Dot-coms

Kamikazes

Martinis

Grant Cogswell

Tim Eyman

Whoopass

Powerade

Tantra

Bloussant

2-Minute Drill

Survivor

Verso

Regnery

Political gridlock

“Bipartisanship”

Scarlet Letters

Cosmo Girl

Renewing Tacoma

Saving San Francisco

Caffe Ladro

Folger’s Latte

TiVo

UltimateTV

McSweeney’s (still)

Tin House

Napster (while it lasts)

Liquid Music

Austin, home of political chicanery

Austin, home of hip music

Lookout Records

Interscope (still)

Public displays of affection

Personal digital assistants

Jared Leto

Chris O’Donnell

Building an all-around team

Depending on one superstar

Helen Hunt

Gwyneth Paltrow

Kenneth Lonergan

Robert Zemeckis

Open-source software

Microsoft.NET

“Slow food”

Fast Company

Goth revival #7

Ska revival #13

Antenna Internet Radio

The Funky Monkey 104.9

Bed Bath and Beyond

Lowe’s Home Centers

Green Republicans

Corporate Democrats

Gents

Dudes

Vamps

Bimbos

Collecting early home computers

Collecting Pokemon cards

Concerts in houses

House music

Cafe Venus and Mars Bar

Flying Fish

Fat pride

No-carb diets

Dump-Schell movement

Kill-transit movement

Hard cider

Hard lemonade

Indie gay films

Showtime’s Queer As Folk

Boondocks

Zits

Internet telephony (at last)

Wireless Internet

Coronation Street (UK soap on CBC)

Dawson’s Creek

Energy conservation

Energy deregulation

Microsoft breakup

AOL/Time Warner merger

Dark blue

Beige

Pho

Chalupas

Caleb Carr

Stephen King

’90s nostalgia

’80s nostalgia

Toyota Echo

Range Rover

Sweat equity

Venture capital

Reality

“Reality TV”

Rubies

Crystals

Blackjack

NASDAQ

Matt Bruno

Ricky Martin

Quinzo’s

Subway

Hamburg

Mazatlan

Georgetown

Belltown

Red wine

Ritalin

Rational thinking

“War on Drugs”

Economic democracy

Corporate restructuring

Culottes

Teddies

Following your own path

Believing dumb lists

NO COLUMN MONDAY, BUT ON TUESDAY: What you might see on this site in the year of Also Sprach Zarathustra.

ELSEWHERE:

THE OLD INSVILLE AND OUTSKI
Dec 31st, 1999 by Clark Humphrey

THE TRADITION CONTINUES: For the 14th consecutive year, here’s your fantastical MISCmedia In/Out List. Thanks to all who contributed suggestions.

As always, this list predicts what will become hot or not-so-hot over the course of the Year of the Double-Oughts; not necessarily what’s hot or not-so-hot now. If you think every person, place, thing, or trend that’s big now will just keep getting bigger forever, I’ve got some Packard Bell PCs to sell you.

(P.S.: Every damned item on this list has a handy weblink. Spend the weekend clicking and having fun.)

INSVILLE

OUTSKI

Jigglypuff

Charizard

Washington Law & Politics

Washington CEO

TrailBlazers

Knicks

‘Amateur’ Net porn

LA porn industry

Game Show Network

USA Network (still)

Casual sex

Casual Fridays

The Nation

The New Republic

Women’s football

Wrestling

Gas masks

Bandanas

Begging

IPOs

Jon Stewart

Jay Leno

Public nudity

“Chastity education”

Global warming

Rolling Stone’s “Hot Issue”

Commuter rail

Anti-transit initiative

Dot-commies (online political organizing)

Dot-coms

Good posture

Implants

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? (still)

Greed

Post-Microsoft Seattle

Silicon Valley

Post-WTO Left

Corporate Right

Dalkey Archive Press

HarperCollins

Bust

Bitch

‘Love Your Dog’

‘Kill Your TV’

Artisan Entertainment

Miramax

McSweeney’s

Speak

The Donnas

TLC

Tobey Maguire

Tom Hanks

Spike Jones

Spike Jonze

Michael Moore

Mike Moore

Darren Aronofsky (Pi)

Quentin Tarantino

Finding a Kingdome implosion viewpoint

Finding a New Year’s party spot

Keeping Ken Griffey Jr.

Trading away pitching

Quitting your job

Going on Prozac

Nerdy individuality

Hip conformity

NetSlaves

Business 2.0

Drip

Lattes

Dodi

Dido

Target

Wal-Mart

Amazons

Pensive waifs

Post-corporate economic theory

Dissertations about Madonna

Electric medicine

HMOs

“Girlie” magazines

“Bloke” magazines

Graceland

Last Supper Club

Labor organizing

Hoping for stock options

Yoga

Tae Bo

Urbanizing the suburbs

Gentrifying the cities

The Powerpuff Girls

The Wild Thornberrys

New library

New football stadium

Detroit

Austin

African folk art

Mexican folk art

As the World Turns

Passions

Liquid acid (alas)

Crystal

Dyed male pubic hair

Dreadlocks

Scarification

Piercings

People who think UFOs are real

People who think wrestling’s real

Red Mill

iCon Grill

76

BP/Amoco/Arco and Exxon/Mobil

Rock/dance-music fusion

Retro disco

Peanuts retirement

Garth Brooks retirement

Maximillian Schell

Paul Schell

Breaching dams

Smashing Pumpkins

Smart Car

Sport-utes (now more than ever)

Contact

Dildonics

Orange

Blue

Public accountability

Police brutality

Georgetown

Pioneer Square

Matchless

Godsmack

Buena Vista Social Club soundtrack

Pulp Fiction soundtrack (finally)

Labor/hippie solidarity

‘Cool’ corporations

Performance art

Performance Fleece

Radical politics

‘Radical sports’

Chloe Sevigny

Kate Winslet

International Herald Tribune

Morning Seattle Times

Piroshkies

Wraps

Prague

London

Kozmo.com

Blockbuster (still)

The exchange of ideas

NASDAQ

Fatigues

Khakis

First World Music

Interscope

Gill Sans

Helvetica

Pretending to be Japanese

Pretending to be gangstas

Botany 500

Blink 182

Tanqueray

Jaegermeister

Bremerton

Duvall

Nehi

Surge

Jimmy Corrigan

Dilbert

Cross-cultural coalitions

In-group elitism

Northern Ireland peace plan

Lord of the Dance

Hard bodies

Soft money

Doing your own thing

‘Rebelliously’ doing exactly what Big Business wants

MONDAY: I’m perfectly confident there will still be electricity and computer networks, and am prepared to ring in the double-ought year with a Peanuts tribute.

ELSEWHERE:

THE INSVILLE AND THE OUTSKI
Dec 28th, 1998 by Clark Humphrey

MISC., your post-print column for (what the Times Personal Tech section calls) the post-television age, was amused by the double standards and double dribbles in that front-page P-I headline on 12/22/98: “Reign star Enis judges basketball, parenthood.” Y’ever see a headline like that about, say, Shawn Kemp?

Alas, that P-I story was one of the last written in the local dailies about the Seattle Reign before the team’s parent American Basketball League announced its sudden, permanent shutdown, leaving fans as bereft of pro women’s b-ball as it is of the men’s game. One could lay the blame for the ABL’s demise on the rival WNBA, with its megabucks backing, its marketable-superstar orientation, and its stranglehold on sponsors and TV outlets. But a less-discussed factor was the league’s management structure. While it claimed to be a grassroots, fan-level outfit, it was really a centralized company which owned all its teams, hired and assigned all its players, and otherwise tightly ran all operations and marketing–just like the Roller Derby, Arena Football, and other assorted marginal team-sports ventures of the past three decades.

The graveyard of new team-sports organizations in North America is full of four decades’ worth of great and less-great visions, from the American Basketball Association to the World Football League and the U.S. Football League, to World Team Tennis and several attempts at indoor soccer. Aside from the American Football League (which got all its teams merged into the NFL in the late ’60s), none were long-term successes. (The only current such ventures with a chance at making it are Major League Soccer and the aforementioned WNBA.) None of those attempts found the formula for nationwide popularity and profits; though some tried to find such a formula thru centralized management. A single-ownership league structure (like that of the ABL) can present a unified public image and prevent a single well-heeled team owner from attaining an uncompetitive dynasty situation (like that which ruined the old North American Soccer League). But it also means local team managers can’t build their own squads, around personalities or playing styles popular in their own towns. And when league HQ runs out of cash and/or ideas, there aren’t local team owners (or buyers) to come up with individual solutions other teams can copy.

But for now, the WNBA (with its emphasis on megabucks and celebrity-driven advertising, and its neglect (or worse) of any lesbian fan base) is the remaining structure for women’s pro hoops, at least until the parent NBA can no longer afford to subsidize it (which, if there’s not even a mini-NBA season, might be more likely and sooner). Wish I had more encouraging news for stranded Reign fans, but a pro league of any sort, especially one with teams scattered across the continent, is an undertaking requiring immense logistics, savvy, and long-term backing. The ABL way didn’t work, and neither has just about any other way.

THE HOLIDAY TRADITION CONTINUES: For the 13th consecutive year, here’s your fantastical Misc. In/Out List. Thanks to all who contributed suggestions via private email and the public Misc. Talk discussion boards; and apologies to those whose board postings I accidentally erased last week. (I think I’ve gotten the hang of the discussion-board software scripts by now.) As always, this list predicts what will become hot or not-so-hot over the course of ’99; not necessarily what’s hot or not-so-hot now. If you think every person, place, thing, or trend that’s big now will just keep getting bigger, I’ve got some Tickle Me Elmo dolls to sell you.

INSVILLE

OUTSKI

Apple “P1” laptop computer

Y2K scare tactics

Seattle Daily Journal of Commerce

Washington CEO

Pipes

Cigars

Caffe Vita

Tully’s

“Got __?”

“Yo Quiero __”

The WB

Fox

Asian (economic) Flu

“The Long Boom”

BBC America

PBS

Elan

Panache

Linux

Windows 2000

Cracked Divx videos

Pirated MP3 music files

Pic-N-Save

Pacific Place

Saving the Kalakala

Stopping the Makah whale hunt

Digital video camcorders

Furby

Dipsy

Po

Win Ben Stein’s Money

New Hollywood Squares

The PJs

King of the Hill

Philosophy

Semiotics

`Enough Is Enough’

Christian Coalition

Falcons

Forty-Niners

Lions Gate Films

DreamWorks SKG

New Rocky and Bullwinkle

New Star Wars

Felicity

Ally McBeal

Ed Norton

Leo DiCaprio

Todd Solondz

Gus Van Sant

Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth)

Meg Ryan

Mammoth Records

Universal Music Group

Perfect 10

Barely Legal

Mode

Vogue

Bento

Pan-Asian Cuisine

Less Than Jake

Better Than Ezra

Brita

Bottled water

Fruitta

Jones Soda

Westwood Village

University Village

Nude shuffleboard

Pro wrestling

Kroger/Fred Meyer

DaimlerChrysler

Bibliofind.com

Barnes & Noble/Ingram merger

ESPN The Magazine

Esquire

Sympathy for Kathi Goertzen

Sainthood for John Stanford

Last Supper Club

Ned’s

eBay fraud

Junk e-mail

Independent Film Channel

USA Network

Ken’s Market

Larry’s Market

New Cyclops restaurant

New baseball stadium

Imploding the Kingdome on 1/1/2000

Lighting bridges on 1/1/2000

Love lotteries

Personal ads

Pachinko

Megatouch

McSweeney’s

Bikini

Lovers

Survivors

Deliberately obvious toupees

Propecia

Female all-instrumental bands

Lilith Fair singers

Pabst

Miller

Pyramid

Redhook

Bars subsidized by pulltab sales

Bars subsidized by cigarette ads

Black

“The new black”

Tiffany Anders

Celine Dion

Pinot noir

Merlot

Psychographics

Demographics

Cubs

Braves

Co-housing conversions

Condo conversions

Mutts

Dilbert

Teen drinking

Pre-teen makeup

White Center

Duvall

Death Cab For Cutie

Dudley Manlove Quartet

Mystic pseudo-science

Fundamentalist pseudo-science

Hedy Lamarr

Marilyn Monroe

Tweedy & Popp’s (Wallingford)

Restoration Hardware

Pokemon

Rugrats

South Park (the Seattle neighborhood)

South Park (the TV show)

Promoting real diversity

White and/or male guilt-tripping

Neo-syndicalism

Global Business Network

Hungarian operettas

Raves

NBA death watch

Apple death watch

The Tentacle

Downtown Voice

Istanbul

Berlin

Sound Transit commuter rail

Trucks

Airstreams

Minivans

Plane-crash videos

Animal-attack videos

Creators

Celebrities

Outlandish heteros

“Mainstreamed” gays

Tycoons (the band)

Day traders

In-group patronization

Pious indignation

Direct action

“civil society”

Streaming net video

Cable access

Partying naked

Wearing `Party Naked’ T-shirts

“I love everybody and you’re next”

“Do I look like I give a damn?”

Doing your own thing

Following advice found on web sites

UNTIL NEXT WE MEET in the year so great there’s a Washington highway named after it, pace yourself by toasting the New Year once for each North American time zone (starting with Newfoundland at 7:30 p.m. PST), and ponder these thoughts attributed to Lillian Helman: “If I had to give young writers advice, I’d say don’t listen to writers talking about writing.”

THE INS AND THE OUTS
Dec 31st, 1997 by Clark Humphrey

Welcome to the 12th annual Misc. In/Out list, your most reliable guide to the people, places, and things coming into and away from public prominence over the following months. As always, this list predicts what will become hot and not-hot; not necessarily what’s hot or not-hot now. We are not responsible for any investment decisions which might be made on the basis of this information. Thanks to all the readers who suggested items.

INSVILLE...........................OUTSKI

Video golf.........................Quake

Co-ops.............................Condos

St. John's Wort....................Prozac

Maktub.............................Electronica

Apple comeback.....................Marvel comeback

Working for Amazon.com.............Working for Microsoft

Della Street.......................Picabo Street

KONG...............................Nick at Nite

Ice wine...........................Ice beer

Meredith Brooks....................Sarah McLachlan

Old-hotel wallpaper patterns......."Sponged" wall finishes

See-thru...........................Wonderbra

Soul...............................Funk

Pop-Up Video......................12 Angry Viewers

Crimson............................Ochre

Tennessee Oilers...................Washington Wizards

Atlanta Hawks......................Chicago Bulls

DVD (finally)......................Internet "push" ads

Neomodern..........................Postmodern

Superstores........................Megamalls

New York Exchange..................Banana Republic

NY Times in color.................Commercials in black and white

Kasi Lemmons.......................Paul Verhoven

Michelle Yeoh......................Kirstie Alley

Wapato.............................LaConner

Oxfords............................Nikes

International Channel..............Fox News Channel

Payday loans.......................Home-equity loans

Java...............................Windows 98

RVs................................Houseboats

Monorail initiative................Cabaret ordinance

New symphony hall..................New Nordstrom store

Oracle NC..........................WebTV

Privatized liquor sales............Privatized electricity sales

What're Ya Talkin' About, Sherman?.Don't Quote Me On This!

Vin Baker..........................Dennis Rodman

ABL................................WNBA

Goddess Kring......................David Kerley

Laetitia Casta.....................Tish Goff

R.D. Laing.........................Deepak Chopra

Homemade CDs.......................Fake indie labels

Sleep capsules.....................Futons

The new Zoom.......................Arthur

Men's make-up......................Women's suits

Wireless modems....................Cell phones

Emerald Queen......................Tulalip Casino

The new Beetle.....................Sport utes

Beacon Hill........................Upper Queen Anne

Rosie O'Donnell....................Dr. Laura

Pectoral implants..................Penile implants

Wormwood...........................Crystal meth

Monarch............................Absolut

Budapest...........................Prague

International Herald Tribune.......NME

Cabarets...........................Poetry slams

Tom Frank..........................Noam Chomsky

Having sex.........................Reading erotica

Bad Badz-Maru......................Elmo

Asian crash........................GATT

Breakfast movies...................Dinner theater

Golden Delicious...................Fiona Apple

Aaron Brown........................Matt Lauer

King of the Hill..................Wacky World of Tex Avery

Manhattan..........................Wired

rewired.com........................suck.com

Rowan Atkinson.....................David Schwimmer

Imps...............................Angels

Schmidt............................Budweiser

Sleater-Kinney.....................Oasis

Peasants..........................."Peasant food"

Seattle housing crisis.............Potholes

"Super duper"......................"Rad"

Cool...............................Hot

Old magazine art...................Photomosaics

Empowerment........................Self-victimization

Revolution Records.................DGC

Chocolate-covered graham cookies...Mazurkas

Pepper pot.........................Lentil

Silk shirt.........................Silk jackets

Do-gooders.........................Go-getters

And, as promised, some of your suggestions:

Subject: In/Out nominations

Sent: 12/11/97 2:54 PM

Received: 12/12/97 8:32 AM

From: Ed Harper (MacTemps), a-edharp@microsoft.com

To: 'clark@speakeasy.org', clark@speakeasy.org

IN...................................OUT

trains...............................747 center fuel tanks

MIR debris...........................Russians in space

co-ops...............................condos

St.Johns Wort........................Prozac

Cuba (if Castro dies)................Club Med

Ad Busters...........................Spy (stick a fork in it)

scotch...............................martinis (these have to go)

UW mens basketball...................UW football (after the huskies lose the Aloha Bowl)

The soon-to-be-radioactive Columbia..Dilbert (maybe 'The Problem with Dilbert' will help)

real heroes..........................Diana (nah, it'll never happen)

conspiracy theories..................El Nino

Subject: My nomination for the in/out list98

Sent: 12/7/97 10:02 AM

Received: 12/7/97 8:40 PM

From: Jose Amador, jaguerra@vcommons.com

To: clark@speakeasy.org

OUT:electronica

IN:Maktub

Subject: In/Out list

Sent: 12/17/97 5:03 PM

Received: 12/18/97 8:41 AM

From: Jeremy Surbrook, fishnet@u.washington.edu

To: clark@speakeasy.org

Dear Clarke,

These are my submissions for 1998,

In: sleaze Out: Political Correctness

In: bland domestics Out: microbrews

In: the 1930's Out: 1970's

In: bargain Hunting Out: conspicuious consumption

In: fast, short action films Out: long, boring ambiguious, incomprehensible art films

In: word of mouth Out: the internet

Thanks, Jeremy

INS & OUTS FOR '97
Dec 26th, 1996 by Clark Humphrey

FOR THE 11TH TIME, here we go with the annual Misc. In/Out List. As always, it predicts what will become in or out within the next year, not necessarily what’s in or out now. If everything that was supposed to be hot at one time just kept getting hotter into the infinite future, we’d all now be listening to Marky Mark CDs, wearing New Romantic frills, and dining on oat-bran-coated pork rinds. Thanks to all who suggested items; some of your suggestions are posted below.

INSVILLE...................OUTSKI

Gentlemen..................Guys

Orbitz.....................Mountain Dew

Forest green...............Teal

Reno.......................The Vegas Strip

Gwyneth Patrow.............Demi Moore

Absinthe...................Ecstasy

Dick's Deluxe..............Arch Deluxe

Mac clones.................Windows clones

DVD........................Pay-Per-View

Writing....................Literature

Lovers.....................Fighters

Tacos......................Wraps

Women with nipple rings sneering at women with implants
...........................People in leather sneering at people in fur

Georgetown.................Fremont

Hype!soundtrack............Pulp Fiction soundtrack

BSA........................Harley-Davidson

Real liberalism............Boomer hegemony

Real conservatism..........Corporate hegemony

Univision..................Fox

ADSL.......................Cable modems

Light-rail construction....Condo construction

Street nudity..............Internet porn

Lutherans..................Evangelicals

Oil painting...............Oil companies

Chubby and Tubby...........Niketown

Phone cards................Baseball cards

Ankles.....................Butts

Sojourners magazine........The 700 Club

Wallace Stevens............Charles Bukowski

Morris Minor...............Range Rover

Plymouth Prowler...........Lexus

ABL........................NFL

Replacing the Dome.........Saving the Hawks

Mensa tests................Drug tests

Danken's...................Ben & Jerry's

Orgies.....................Raves

Monorail Initiative........Anti-stadium initiative

Slot-car racing............Snowboarding

"Dee-lish"................."X-treme"

DIY Internet radio.........NPR

Silkscreens................Glass art

Banjos.....................Electric guitars

Home sweatshops............Overseas sweatshops

Old pickups................Sport utility vehicles

KIXI.......................KMTT

Donuts.....................Bagels

NW filmmaking..............NW location shooting

Drew Carey.................Robin Williams

29 Live....................Richard Lee

Juliette Brioche...........Pamela Anderson Lee

'30s revival...............'70s revival

Toques.....................Baseball caps

Carrie Akre (finally)......Alanis

Straight-edgers drinking...Vegans smoking

Shuffleboard...............Doom

Sorbonne...................Evergreen

Rebuilding cities..........Deconstructing texts

Sheryl Lee Ralph...........Whitney Houston

Chanel #5..................Patchouli

Free-love cults............Militias

Ads in high schools........Ads on web pages

Diet pills.................Ab machines

Real towns.................Subdivisions

Diner food.................Peasant food

Flaxseed...................Hemp

Some Of Your Suggestions

From: "L. Bauman"

OUT with Richard Lee (unless he can produce some evidence!) **I'm a fan of the idea behind public access TV, but can't say as there has been anything on there worth watching of late.

Oh, and IN with the 50th anniversary of the Roswell UFO crash! **don't tell any of my serious SETI friends but I am banking that New Mexico, in the new year just goes plain NUTS with this. The Stranger should send someone to cover the story.... Talk about culture.

Sampai Jumpa Lagi-

Laurie

From:rice@blarg.net

Organization: ricemag

In: Pleasant old ladies that work in blue-collar laundromats.

Out: Obnoxious twenty-somethings that work in trendy laundromats.

From: Janet & Wiley (jbuttenw@waonline.com)

Dear Clark,

I feel the collective mood of the entire city can be summed up with the

following:

Out, new stadia; In, the Kingdome!

It's ugly and troublesome, but at least its already built.

Sincerely,

Matthew Wiley.

From: Karl Sponberg (sponberg@u.washington.edu)

In......................................Out

Seattle Reign!..........................Sonics

Torreafazione (sp?).....................Starbucks

Georgetown..............................Fremont

Everett Giants..........................Mariners

Cellophane Square.......................Tower Records

Twice Sold Tales........................Borders Books

SPU Falcons.............................UW Huskies

The Crest Cinema........................Any first run movie house,

........................................but esp. Cineplex Odious

Chubby & Tubby..........................Niketown

Deface the Nation.......................The McLaughlin Group

Drew Carey..............................Seinsmeld

Banjos..................................Electric guitars

Celtic dance............................The macarena

Newsradio...............................Friends

Old pickup trucks.......................Sport Utility Vehicles

Simple sentences........................Jargon

Missions................................Mission statements

Writing letters.........................the internet

Donuts..................................Bagels

Love the column!

Karl

THE WORLD’S ONLY ACCURATE IN/OUT LIST
Dec 31st, 1995 by Clark Humphrey

As we’ve done since 1988, this list reflects what will become big over the next 12 months, not what’s big now. If you believe everything big now will keep getting bigger, we’ve got Power Rangers movie videos to sell you.

INSVILLE..................OUTSKI

Mac clones.................Windows 95

Sun/Netscape...............Intel/Microsoft

Gentlemen..................Guys

Pete & Pete................Friends

Pinky & the Brain..........X-Men

Bravo......................HBO

Flagship Ale...............Muenchener

Community syndicalism......Global capitalism

Many-to-many...............One-to-many

Freedom....................Censorship

The City...................Melrose Place

Bizarro....................Dilbert

Sophia Loren...............Marilyn Monroe

Curling....................Snowboarding

Condo-izing office towers..Exurbs and "edge cities"

Albuquerque................New Orleans

Rotterdam..................Prague

Avant-Pop fiction..........Cyberpunk

Steak houses...............Coffee houses

Puppetry...................Computer animation

Electric cars (finally)....Luxury 4 x 4s

Kitty Wells................Patsy Cline

Fedoras....................Baseball caps

African food...............Thai food

Rosicrucianism.............Neopaganism

Opium tea..................Herbal ecstasy

Citizens Utilities.........Green Day

Sherman Alexie.............bell hooks

Padded butts...............Silicone

DVD........................CD-ROM

ADSL.......................ISDN

Dr. Laura Sleshinger.......Limbaugh and his wannabes

Coal.......................Alanis Morissette

Leonardo DiCaprio..........Jim Carrey

Lounge.....................Techno

Zog Logs...................Pog

H.L. Mencken...............Hunter Thompson

Raconteurs.................Stand-up comics

Virgin Megastore...........Sam Goody

Shoe Pavilion..............Payless ShoeSource

Crossroads.................Bellevue Square

Indian musicals............Special-effects thrillers

Women's basketball.........Beach volleyball

Poker......................Magic: The Gathering

Boa constrictors...........Pot-bellied pigs

Union jackets..............Gas-station jackets

Co-ed strip clubs..........Cybersex

"Return to civility"......."Return to elegance"

Mandalas...................Fractals

The power of love..........The love of power

Skepticism.................Cynicism

Braided pubic hair.........Genital piercings

Garcia sightings...........Elvis sightings

Black Jack.................Bubble Yum

Free Quebec................NAFTA

Percogesic.................Melatonin

Ang Lee....................Paul Verhoven

Lili Taylor................Sharon Stone

ESPN2......................Sonics pay-per-view

Infobahn...................Wired

Phrenology.................Astrology

Aldous Huxley..............Terence McKenna

Hypertexts (finally).......In/Out lists

IN/OUT LIST FOR 1995
Jan 3rd, 1995 by Clark Humphrey

As has been our practice since 1988, this year’s list reflects what will become big over the next 12 months, not necessarily what’s big now. If you believe everything already big will just keep getting bigger forever, we’ve got some Northern Exposure and Barney merchandise to sell you.

Insville Outski
Pocket watches Swatch
Power PC Pentium
Blue drinks Clear drinks
Real cocktail parties L.A.-style “slumming”
Fizz Wired
LPs Tribute albums
Determination Defeatism
Brooklyn Berkeley
Count Chocula Pop Tarts Crunch
Mini satellite dishes Cable
Video dialtone Pay-per-view movies
Hi-8 camcorders “Kill Your TV” bumper stickers
Old Country Young Country
Voodoo Faith healing
EastEnders Days of Our Lives
The Other Side Geraldo
Hinduism Baseball as religion
Indie films Action hits
Tower Video Blockbuster
Drew Soicher Bruce King
Lives Lifestyles
Scotland Spain
Safeway Select President’s Choice
Shop-Rite Larry’s Markets
Democracy Demographics
World Wide Web Video games
Love vs. hate Right vs. wrong
Alaskan Amber Ale Rainier’s fake microbrews
Sew-your-own Designer fashions
Gas station artifacts Glass art
Horse shampoo Spray-on hair
Urban homesteading Moving to the country
Hercules Babylon 5
Tom Snyder Last Call
Body painting Piercing
Passion Fashion
All-female bands All-male plays
Jack Hammer Jay Jacobs
Miss Lily Banquette Madonna
Wisdom Ideology
PDAs (this time for sure) Cell phones
Public nudity Cybersex
Atom Egoyan Oliver Stone
DIY culture Global entertainment empires
Talking books Talk radio
Nellie Bly Hunter Thompson
Cool wit “Hot Talk”
Whiskey Vodka
Jazz Funk
Linda Fiorentino Meg Ryan
Johnny Depp Michael Douglas
Opium tea Crack
Ambrose Bierce Dave Barry
Musical comedy Stand-up comedy
Curling Snowboarding
Gargoyles Animaniacs
Skeleteens sodas OK Soda
Old Dart Swingers Mercedes
Sampling Intellectual property
Floods Earthquakes
Fat pride Waifs
Live performance Movies based on TV shows
Men who wish they were lesbians Whites who wish they were Indians
Doing your own thing Obeying dumb in/out lists
1/94 MISC NEWSLETTER
Jan 6th, 1994 by Clark Humphrey

1/94 Misc. Newsletter

(incorporating four Stranger columns)

TO OUR OUT-OF-TOWN READERS:

THERE ARE OTHER SEATTLE ARTISTS

BESIDES CHIHULY

Here at Misc. (your source for hot news in a cold climate) we were bemused by KING’s week-long series on filmmaking in the Seattle area: Five long reports promoting Hollywood location shoots, nothing about supporting indigenous filmmakers. Of course, that’s common thinking in this alleged “movie town.” Portland and Vancouver support real local films by homegrown directors; at the last Seattle International Film Festival, the top “regional film” award went to a feature filmed entirely in LA by an LA guy who’d moved to Mercer Island. It was an honorable film, but by no real means a Northwest one.

DUFF ME: We seldom talk about live shows, but had to remark on the Fastbacks gig at the Crocodile on 12/1. Joining Seattle’s longest-running alternative band for its encore was its 1981 drummer, Duff McKagan. He split nine years ago and joined Guns n’ Roses, the definitive example of what alternative rock is an alternative to. (Their album of old punk covers is the worst artist-repertoire match since Pat Boone covered Little Richard.) He’s reasserting his Seattle roots in interviews to promote his solo CD, and is rumored to be moving back. He had the prettiest hair and only silk scarf in the building.

CLEANING UP: Remember how the homeless children of Rio were swept from the streets just before the Earth Summit? Just before APEC, Seattle Police held a mass roundup of street people. Even before any economic pacts were signed, we were already becoming closer to official foreign mores.

HYPERHYPE: Perhaps more important than APEC was another convention in town, the fifth International Conference on Hypertext. Computer multimedia and hypermedia could spawn whole new art forms, new ways of looking at the world, empowering people whose stories have been ignored. But the convention was dominated by eastern university guys (especially from Brown) whose vision of on-screen reading simply moves genteel-white-guy fiction onto screens. The potential of cyber-lit could be better exploited by an aesthetic of exploration and connections, rather than the centrist worldview of the academic aristocracy. A computerized story about a colonial-era farm could let users click and read about the different jobs on the farm, the growing cycles, the lives of the working families. With all that, who needs to bother with the drawing-room angst of manor lords?

INTER-ACTIVITY: Similar corporate scrambling and punditry surrounds the promised big cable TV/phone/computer hookups. This really could profoundly improve the world — if our “leaders” don’t ruin it. Every new media technology has had political implications. Phones and telegraph developed under corrupt administrations that, fat with railroad payoffs, looked the other way on monopolies. Radio and talkies arose in the Coolidge-Hoover era, friendly to consolidation of power into four commercial networks, seven studios and five big theater chains. Truman tried to maintain the media status quo by holding up new TV stations; once Ike came in, big-sponsor-controlled TV was allowed to essentially run free. (KOMO and KSTW had their 40th birthdays last year; until ’53, there was only one station in Seattle and none in Portland.) The Nixon crew developed PBS precisely to be a bureaucratic farce in submission to corporate money. The Reaganites revoked commercial TV’s few remaining requirements for public service and journalistic fairness. Meanwhile, two by-products of Cold War military investment, the microprocessor and the Internet, helped create a new aesthetic of direct communicating, without the compromises or corruption of Hollywood and Madison Ave. The 500-channel future could give just lots of pay-per-view blockbuster violence movies. Or we could have universal two-way access, where anyone can transmit anything to anyone. This wouldn’t mean the end of pop culture but its fullest blossoming. Just as the best “pop” music of the past decade has been outside the Top 40, the best “pop” video of the next decade will be made by small troupes who love their work. The information superhighway” is currently more hype than policy; the danger is that it’ll become a policy of profit above empowerment. Let the powers that be know you want “common carrier video,” or something that can be upgraded to it.

LOVELY PARTING GIFTS: Some of the new-media hypes involves proposed “interactive” versions of that most purely televisual of program forms, the game show — at a time when it’s nearly disappeared from broadcast channels. ABC hasn’t had any since the Ross Shafer Match Game revival. CBS has only the ancient Price Is Right; NBC has only the new Caeser’s Challenge and six-year-old Classic Concentration reruns (both to be canceled soon). The only syndicated games are Jeopardy!Wheel of Fortune and Family Feud. The game show has no connection to real life. It exists in a studio universe of flashing lights and goofy sound effects. It’s a fantasy out of place among today’s “reality shows.” Cable’s keeping the chase-lights blinking with assorted shows on Lifetime and Nickelodeon, though the new shows with their corner-cutting budgets don’t quite have the joyous trash factor of the reruns on USA or the Family Channel, including amazing old Let’s Make a Deal shows where polyestered housewives go agog over winning a new AMC Hornet!

ART OF MUSIC: Great to see the distinctive illustrative style of Ed Fotheringham in ads for the 5th Avenue Theater’s Cinderella. Imagine: Rodgers & Hammerstein sold by the ex-singer for the Thrown Ups, who got famous painting Mudhoney and Flop record covers.

A COIN NAMED SUE: That scourge of late-’70s product design, the Susan B. Anthony dollar coin, is back. The Post Office refitted its vending machines to give back Anthonys from $5 bills. They’re showing up at stores, where most clerks don’t know what to do with ’em. One Fred Meyer clerk asked, “Is this a Canadian quarter or what?”

LOCAL PUBLICATION OF THE MONTH: Movie Maker is a local film rag by Tim Rice (not the lyricist). The first issue’s largely reviews, but Rice promises to mainly cover indy filmmakers, particularly locals. It’ll be a great asset toward building the DIY film/video scene here (as opposed to the state film office’sP.O.V., mostly about Hollywood location work).

MALLED OVER:Three Christmases ago, Aurora Village‘s new managers vowed to revive the declining shopping center, half of whose spaces were boarded up. Two Christmases ago, Frederick & Nelson shut its AV store during its penultimate contraction. Last Christmas, only Nordstrom, a movie multiplex, and a few other stores remained. Earlier this year, Price-Costco bought the site. Big 5 Sporting Goods and Seafirst are the only buildings standing like Little Houses on the Prairie amidst the rubble of demolished stores and jackhammered parking. Go see it; it’s great-&-eerie. Just don’t buy a gun at one place to use robbing the other.

CONSUMER ALERT: While the sleeve doesn’t say so, one side of the C/Z Christmas record plays at 33, the other at 45. I’ll let you figure out which.

FAST FOOD OF THE MONTH: Had enough of generic foods? Hope not, ‘cuz a local company’s offering plain-label salmon at the ridiculously low price of $1.79 for a big can. Look for it at the Leschi Food Market and elsewhere.

GOT THE LOOK: Despite what I’ve said about fashion models, I don’t hate ’em. I’ve been fascinated by them as an institution. Supermodels exist because the media needs female celebrities, but Hollywood won’t develop enough star actresses. So editors and ad agencies created a type of celebrity who existed purely to sell products by selling her image. The supermodel presents a persona of leisure, of being rather than doing; yet she’s is a pivotal cog in the American consumer machine. Nineteenth-century literature was full of pale waifs beautifully “dying of consumption” (TB). Modern magazines are full of pale waifs exhorting you to consume. Old-time femininity was a moral stance that stood above crude and petty things like commerce. Postmodern femininity is an instrument of commerce, in the name of that tenuously-defined quality that is beauty. I don’t condemn that. Leftist males often denounce femininity and beauty as counterproductive to the great revolutionary toil. They promote an ideal world in which women would affirm the superiority of masculine behavior by emulating it. I don’t. As a suffragette anthem said, “Give us bread but give us roses.” We need aesthetic truths as much as political ones (maybe more). Whether the aesthetic of Elle is the one we need is another question.

WOOD YOU?: Tree Hugger Fire Logs are advertised as the first environmentally-correct fireplace logs, ’cause they use “no live trees, only wood waste.”All packaged fireplace logs since Weyerhaeuser’s original Prest-O-Log are made of mill ends and pressed sawdust. Sawdust logs also pollute the air just like natural logs.

THE FINE PRINT (from a counter display for Sugar Free Breath Savers): “Not a reduced calorie food. See back panel for details.”

SIGN OF THE MONTH (at Eyes Rite Optical on Aurora): “Contacts and Galsses, $49 a pair and up.” Hope they’ve sold a pair to the signmaker…

CLEARING OUT: The “clear products” craze never came. Example: Tab Clear, clearance-priced in some stores at 49cents a half gallon. Among its problems: the ad slogan, “It’s not what you think.” My mom told me that whenever I found her reading a paperback with a T&A cover. She never told me what it really was, or what she thought I thought it was. Neither did Tab.

CIVIL WRONGS: Black Diamond cops confiscated a guy’s pickup during a coke bust. The arrested guy’s dad sued to get the truck back, claiming the impounding was a civil-rights violation. A judge ruled in favor of the cops, and ordered the dad to pay $212,000 for defaming the officers’ character. Can you say “precedent for government intimidation against citizen complaints”?

LIFE IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN: I used to give an annual It’s a Wonderful Life rerun count; it aired up to 33 times some Decembers. This year, it only ran nine times. It used to be a forgotten oldie that aired once or twice a year on the Saturday afternoon movie; then the movie’s original 28-year copyright expired in ’74 and wasn’t renewed; anybody could show or copy it, and many did. In 1975 it became the annual Christmas movie at the Grand Illusion. By the end of the decade every non-network station ran it, sometimes two or three times a season. As cable developed, every channel that ran movies ran it. But now, a company called Republic Pictures sez it controls the film’s original negative, its music, and the story on which it was based, and will enforce those rights against unauthorized showings. IAWL was made in ’46 by director Frank Capra’s own company and released by RKO. The firm now called Republic used to be NTA, a cut-rate TV distributor that bought lots of old movies in the ’50s (including IAWL and the library of the original Republic cowboy studio) and didn’t bother with copyright renewals. If this seems trivial, it isn’t. The new Republic is challenging the notion that once copyrights die, they stay dead. It could be a precedent for other movies. Under the 1978 copyright law, works owned by companies (instead of individuals) lose protection after 75 years. All the early talkies will start going public-domain in less than a decade — unless the law is revised, or owners find alternate means of protection.

IN OUR MIDST: Somebody was raped in the Colourbox women’s room, during a show by local metal band Forced Entry. The criminal was spotted by another patron, but eluded chasers out the back door. People I talked to about it presumed the creep was upscale suburban scum gone “slumming”, of the same class of overdressed goons who verbally fag-bashed Re-bar’s patrons after the Weekly “discovered” the place. The rationale ignores the possibility that the asshole might very well have been one of “our” group. I’ve blathered about people’s temptation to dehumanize people outside their own lifestyle. Take this delusion of superiority to its coldest extreme and you get the me-first mentality of an assailant. In any event, the drive by Pio. Square businesses to “clean up” the area by harassing street people won’t do shit for public safety when the real danger can come from these businesses’ own customers.

COMING DOWN: Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders proposed a rational drug policy. The president disavowed it, as anyone hoping for re-election naturally would, but it’s a start. I’ve seen many become slaves to drugs. Prohibition didn’t make or help them stop; it only put them in legal as well as physical peril. The War on Drugs has utterly failed at curtailing supply or demand; it’s succeeded at propping up dictators abroad and police harassment at home. Like alcohol prohibition 70 years ago, it’s created surreptitious enterprises whose antisocial behavior is directly due to their illegality. The best way to defuse gang warfare is to eliminate its only logical purpose: drug networks’ battles for sales turf. There are three drug crises: the drugs themselves, the thuggery of the drug industry, and the thuggery of the anti-drug industry (police, armies, urine tests). Regulated legalization will resolve crises #2 and #3, and make it easier to treat crisis #1. Imagine a world of such common sense; then work to build a political climate where it’s possible.

PASSAGE

From the eternal Frank Zappa: “In the fight between you and the world, back the world.”

REPORT

My book on the history of local music is nearly done, but still needs a little more info. I currently need:

* Photos of the outsides of old clubs, especially the Bird and WREX

* Suggestions of current club bands that ought to be mentioned

* Stories, wacky anecdotes

Thanx.

WORD-O-MONTH

“Alembic”

THE 8TH ANNUAL ONLY ACCURATE IN/OUT LIST

Last year’s list correctly foresaw the rise of

Dark Horse Comics, mass-appeal hiphop, Afrocentric art, and Letterman on CBS;

plus the fall of Ralph Lauren, Crystal Pepsi, mass-murdering movie “heroes,” and Arsenio.

Remember, this is a prediction of what will become hot in the coming year.

If you think everything that’s hot now will just keep getting hotter,

then I’ve got some Last Action Hero merchandise to sell you.

Insville Outski
Straight folks faking gayness White folks faking blackness
Snapple (still) Gourmet water
Real news Sleazy murder stories
Lovers Rebels
Hi-8 video CD video
DAT recorders DCC players
Fiz Spin
Canadian-style health care Socialism for the insurance biz
Co-housing Townhomes
The new Mustang Saturn
Rechargeable batteries Disposable diapers
Wired Mondo 2000
Community involvement Cocooning
Finding cool people everywhere Looking for the Next Seattle
Hefewisen ale Ice beer
Cocoa Instant cappuccino
The Economist Fortune
Spokane Duvall
2 Stupid Dogs The toned-down Ren & Stimpy
Xuxa Barney
Sonics Rockets
Crossroads Bellevue Square
Independent political movements The two-party system
Trains to Vancouver Ferries to Victoria
Cabarets Moshpits
Pale green Light brown
Crying at movies Laughing at tabloids
’50s doo-wop revival ’70s guitar-rock revival
Czech Republic England
Women’s bowling Beach volleyball
Sex Cybersex
Power PC Newton
Transnational labor organizing “Free” trade
Sampled everything Intellectual property
Cheap motels Bed & Breaakfasts
Yearning Denial
Prozac Crack
Hammering Man improvements The Big Art Syndrome
Holly Hunter Meg Ryan
Old gas-station uniforms The REI Look
1/4-ton pickups Upscale 4 x 4s
Campy Catholic art Neo-paganism
Flop Gin Blossoms
Football on Fox MTV Sports
The new Factsheet 5 Utne Reader
Game Show Channel Discovery’s paeans to war machines
Creating your own life Rote obedience or disobedience to fads
Face painting Pierces
Lake Union Pub Under the Rail
Bill Nye Carmen Sandiego
Mike Leigh John Hughes
1/92 MISC NEWSLETTER
Jan 2nd, 1992 by Clark Humphrey

1/92 Misc. Newsletter

(incorporating three Stranger Misc. columns and

the 1992 In/Out list, also published in the Seattle Times)

1991 IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE RERUN COUNT: 21

Welcome to a new ever-lovin’ fun-filled year with Misc., the pop-culture report that doesn’t follow trends and doesn’t really lead them either, but just stays out of their way.

Philm Phun: After I saw Slacker, I stepped out of the theater and into a whole scene of street bohemians. After I saw Prospero’s Books on 11/28, I stepped out of the theater and into a sudden tempest. I don’t think I’m going to see The Rapture…. There appear to be two Addams Family movies: the lousy one all the critics saw, and the delightful one I saw. Maybe it’s like the different versions of Clue. If any of you saw the critics’ edition, tell me what it was like…. This year’s best-of list by Rocket film guy Jim Emerson (who moved to LA some years back and never bothers to check what’s playing in Seattle) only lists 2 films (out of 14) that didn’t show here, down significantly from previous years.

Cathode Corner: KING may be slowly recovering from tabloidmania. The 11 p.m. newscasts feature real news stories (sometimes more than one) alongside the typical crime/disaster tedium. The station’s next owner, the Providence Journal, was one of the papers that didn’t run the Doonesbury strips about Quayle’s possible past. It also enforced its syndicate contract to prevent any other Rhode Island paper from running them… Almost Live might go national next fall. Worldvision’s offering a syndicated weeknight version (with local jokes to be only partly toned down). It should give the gang a better showcase than they got on Fox`s mercy-killed Haywire.

Box Full-O-Art: The Seattle Art Museum, on the outside, is a standard low-rise box with a gaudy false facade; a perfect PoMo reincarnation of western frontier architecture. All the papers had special sections for the opening, but the best was in the Daily Journal of Commerce. It had headlines like “Some subs [subcontractors] charge design was flawed” and “Complex, condensed, SAM tough to build.” It had “thank you Seattle” vanity ads from Acme Iron Works, Mosler Security, Lone Star Concrete, Star Machinery Rentals, and the Carpet Resource Center. It’s more proof of how much easier it is to get politicians to spend for the arts when it goes to campaign-contributing contractors, instead of uncouth artists.

Mouths-O-Babes (two eight-year-olds on the bus, 12/11): “What’s that up there?” “It’s a gas station.” “No, that’s a flower. Don’t you know, flowers are bee pee stations.” The real BP has a kids’ book promotion with G. Burghoff saying it’s important for children to read, so “you can become anything you want to be.” No — it’s important so America can regain a capable workforce and keep our industries from being taken over by foreign companies like BP.

No “Willie” Jokes: The Smith trial had too many weird parallels. First, the grotesque attempt to brand the alleged victim as a slut (why do guys who insist they’re not rapists have lawyers with the mentality of rapists?) by noting that she owned licensed Madonna clothes; CNN’s electronic masking made her look like Madonna’s “Blank” character in Dick Tracy. The defendant’s name is too close to Willi Smith, NY fashion designer and Madonna pal who died several years back. The media kept calling him Ted Kennedy’s nephew but seldom mentioned his lineage from one of the JFK sisters, the true forgotten Kennedys.

Ad Slogan of the Month: “It’s not your mother’s tampon.” I should hope not…

Good Buy, Baseball!: So let’s get together and buy the Mariners. Granted, it’s not as important as saving Frederick’s, but it’s still a good cause. At $100 million, it’ll only take 20 guys with $5m each, or 10,000 fans with $10,000 second-mortgage loans. I’m reminded again of Jim Bouton’s words at the end of Ball Four, the book about Seattle’s first attempt to keep a team: “Any city that cares more about its museum than its ball park can’t be all bad.”

Junk Food of the Month: colorless Pepsi is being tested, presumably to compete with Original New York Seltzer (really from Calif.)… The Seeds of Change exhibit at the Smithsonian shows how the conquest of the Western Hemisphere influenced diets of the world. You know about corn, potatoes, tomatoes, tobacco and coffee, but you might not realize that a lot of the slave trade was supported by the sugar industry, providing Europeans with a sweet treat provided thanks to the subjugation of human life. It’s appropriate that Roald Dahl’s Willie Wonka hired low-wage immigrants for his chocolate factory, depicted in true colonial fashion as carefree, hard-working semi-humans (albeit from an imaginary foreign land).

Xmas ’91: Frederick’s save-the-store campaign worked so well that for the first time they ran out of Frangos. Whether that’s a sign of confidence to the store’s bankers remains to be seen… Hasbro had a near-monopoly on toys this season, having absorbed such greats as Milton Bradley, Parker Brothers, Kenner, Selchow & Righter, Coleco, Playskool, and Tonka. Its only big competition, besides video games, came from the Ninja Turtles. A giant segment of Hasbro’s product comes from Chinese sweatshops via its own Seattle dock.

Local Publication of the Month (just one this time): Victoria artist Nick Bantock’s Griffin and Sabine, An Extraordinary Romance is a short story in 19 original postcards (painting and collage on the fronts, mysterious correspondence on the back. Think of it as a one-man mail art show in hardcover.

None Dare Call It Schlock: Warner Bros. ads shout, “David Ansen of Newsweek says JFK is `Impressive. It holds you by the edge of your seat.'” Quite different from what the cover of the magazine says: “The twisted truth of JFK: Why Oliver Stone’s Movie Can’t Be Trusted.” But the last word, as always, goes to Oliver (“Fuck me, rock god!”) Stone: “I think a president was illegally killed.”

The Real NW: A further explanation is due of my assertion that the Northwest is not Paradise. There’s this whole mystique that gets more exaggerated every year, more divorced from reality. One guy who got off the plane from No. Cal. two months ago was talking about how Wash. voters “turned conservative” in the last election. I tried to explain how we keep turning down progressive tax plans and bottle bills, how the near-loss of the women’s-choice initiative was due more to opponents’ well-funded lies than any deep anti-choice sentiment, how we kept sending the build-more-bombs Scoop Jackson to the Senate, how we’re no more or less conservative than ever. It’s just getting harder to live up to this fantasy of Laidbackland, invented in the early ’70s by the hippie diaspora who redefined every place they moved to according to late-hippie priorities. (Bon ad, 12/15: “Northwest Style: Laid Back with Dockers.”) The reality of pre-1970 Seattle (and its kids) is that our “tolerance” was more like apathy. We’re not mellow, we’re cold and sullen. The real spirit of the Northwest isn’t in aPoulsbo bed-n’-breakfast, it’s in the acerbic Dog House waitresses and the bland Boeing corporate culture. (The syndrome’s worse in my birthplace of Oly, historically a town of bourbon-guzzling lobbyists but rechristened as an even purer Laidbackland by folks who think our State Reps are called “assemblymen.”)

Bulldozers of the Spirit: The real political history of Wash. and the non-Frisco west in general is a few crackpots, a few innovators, and a lot of fiends. The ugliness of the American landscape matches the ugliness of American politics, for a reason. The GOP is now controlled by the western land/resource industries, who made strip mines and strip malls and and tract houses and shrillily demand the right to destroy the few “real” spaces left.They built the S&L biz to pump money into subdivisions and then, with Reagan’s deregulation, into all forms of swindles. George (in oil) and Neil (S&L’s) Bush are insiders in this gang. The religious right is a mere tool, callously used by the moneybags to barter for votes and promote an authoritarian culture. Charles Keating, who financed anti-porn drives with loot from S&L frauds, was a pivot man in the scheme. The guys who made southern Calif. what it is today have no qualms about what their hirelings Nixon and Reagan did to the nation’s social terrain.

Mixed Signals: A great NY Times story on 11/27 discussed lawsuits and death threats among the heirs of the inventor of the “rabbit ears” TV antenna (and lesser ideas like a water-driven potato peeler). Marvin P. Middlemark died in ’89, leaving a Long Island mansion surrounded by vinyl tube fencing stuffed with used tennis balls, housing eight dogs, “nine miniature horses and eight miniature donkeys, 18 Chinese tractors, dozens of cement statues of Greek gods, stained glass windows of Marilyn Monroe and Albert Einstein, and 1,000 pairs of woolen gloves (one size fits all).” Sounds like my kinda guy.

‘Til our fab Feb. ish, make a ’92 resolution to petition KCTS to show The ’90s before midnight, force members of the Patsy Cline cult to listen, at least once, to any other country singer (Ranch Romance doesn’t count), and join us again.

PASSAGE

Dave Kendall on MTV’s 120 Minutes, 12/1: “The Red Hot Chili Peppers have a definite attitude, a stance, this kind of love-funk, aggressive peace sort of thing.”

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WORD-O-MONTH

“Synecdoche”

THE ONLY RELIABLE IN/OUT LIST FOR ’92

I don’t claim any hot trend will keep getting hotter forever. That’s the logic of bad sci-fi writers and high school counselors. I note what’s peaking, declining, about to cause a backlash, and what nobody else realizes yet. I previously predicted the rise of Estonia, ’70s music, and nose rings, as well as the fall of He-Man, Lisa Bonet, and certain dictators.

INSVILLE OUTSKI
The Ren & Stimpy Show The Simpsons
New Line Cinema Disney
Black rock bands White blues bands
Torrefazione Italia coffee Starbucks
Charles Krafft Matthew Kangas
Drake Collier Rush Limbaugh
Reality Virtual reality
Ocean Shores Bainbridge
Plaid slacks Hypercolor sweatshirts
Portland San Francisco
A seductive whisper Screaming
Geo Infiniti and Lexus
Lounge singers Jimmy the Geek
Teachers Entrepreneurs
PM Dawn Bell Biv Devoe
Being radical now Living in the ’60s
Ed Broadbent John Major
In Living Color Sat. Night Live (except Victoria Jackson)
Photography Big sculpture
Love Power
Molly Ivins Dave Barry
Rail transit Freeways
River Phoenix Bruce Willis
Parks Office parks
Liquid crystal diodes Neon
Incomprehensible art films Idiotic violence films
Adrienne Shelly (Trust) Julia Roberts
“Venus in Furs” Vegetarians in leather jackets
Ph.D’s MBAs
Audrey Hepburn Marilyn Monroe
Sasha Foo Susan Hutchison
Thai food “NW cuisine” by LA chefs
Investment Speculation
Buffalo Bills LA Raiders
“Made in USSR” products Baseball cards
Little black dresses Bustiers
Martinis Margaritas
Box sets by one-hit bands Books on tape
Rubber stamps Bumper stickers
Making your town better Moving to the country
Zippy Doonesbury
Pet turtles Pot-bellied pigs
Sophistication Pretentiousness
United Europe The “new world order”
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