Thursday, January 31, 2002

YOU THINK NFL FOOTBALL has complicated rules on the field? Just look at the league's regulations regarding what corporate logos its players can wear in public.

posted by clark 1:55 PM

Wednesday, January 30, 2002

DEPT. OF OBVIOUSNESS: Medical researchers now claim to have evidence that longterm pot smoking can cause memory loss, disoriented thinking, and a lack of ambition; and can be at least psycologically, and perhaps chemically, addictive, with withdrawal symptoms that include anger, aggression, and irritability.

Well, like DUH.

Now we have to figure out what chemical agents make certain heavy tokers believe themselves to be at one with the plants and the animals, but treat non-pot-smoking humans as a separate/inferior life form.

posted by clark 10:43 AM

Tuesday, January 29, 2002

LISA SUCKDOG CARVER wrote the finest-ever ode to the faded glory that is Kmart, in her old zine Rollerderby. Here's an excerpt:

"Kmart is great. All that stuff strewn around aisle after air-conditioned aisle, and the easy listening makes you really feel like you're shopping. Don't be daunted by the piles of voluminous clothing in ugly colors. Have some patience and the prizes--like ban dana halter tops--will be yours...for $1.99 each!!! The problem most people have with Kmart clothes is they're cheaply-made and behind-the-times. But that's no problem for me! Some of my best friends are cheaply-made and behind-the-times...oh, ho, ho, I crack me up! Actually, that's true about my friends. Anyway, what do I care if my clothes fall apart after 20 wear ings? I don' t want to wear the same thing a million times anyway. And if I really love something, I'll buy three of it-- that way I can be seen in it 60 times. And I've still paid only six dollars! As for not being fashionable: I think it's cute to be six months to two years--or more!--behind everybody else. So some gal might look at you in your tight K-mart jumpsuit (pink, with match ing pink bubblegum popping in and out of your pink glossy lips) and think, "God, that outfit is so 1982! And there's a thread unraveling--can't she afford anything better?!" But that mean gal's boyfriend is thinking, "That looks good!""

Carver's whole Kmart essay is apparently not available online, but this similarly-flavored essay is.

posted by clark 11:48 AM

Monday, January 28, 2002

SEVERAL DOZEN OF YOU refused to be scared by the local-TV-news hype over "StormWatch 2002" (or actually hoped, like I did, to get caught up in the big rare Seattle snowstorm that, this time, didn't happen). I speak of those of you who came to our spectacular MISCparty last Saturday night. Special thanks are due to the band Laguna!, to DJ Superjew and DJ E-Z Action, and to the staff of 2nd Avenue Pizza, without whom none of the fun would've been possible.

posted by clark 11:06 AM

SURVEY SAYS: More college students are "politically liberal" these days than at any time since the end of the Vietnam draft.

My first reaction: What will certain aging-boomer profs of my acquaintance do for fun anymore, if they can't stand around demeaningly stereotyping everyone younger than themselves as right-wing hicks?

posted by clark 10:54 AM

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