Thursday, June 06, 2002

IN HAPPIER TV NEWS, the Viacom media conglomerate might be close to aggreiving an 11-year-old mistake. TV Guide reports one of the company's cable channels, TNN, is planning to commission new episodes of The Ren & Stimpy Show, the cartoon classic originally made for, and mismanaged into the ground by, Viacom's Nickelodeon channel. The atonement part is that TNN's negotiating to rehire R&S creator John Kricfalusi, whom Nickelodeon ceremoniously fired as producer shortly into the original show's second season.

posted by clark 11:19 AM

DEPT. OF HYPOCRISY: Trio is a tertiary cable TV channel, originally formed as a US outlet for Canadian and British drama series. Late last year it became part of the USA Networks stable, which a few months later was acquired by Vivendi Universal. One of the new management's first modes was to schedule Uncensored June, a month-long package of "Viewer Discretion Advised" movies and documentaries "Presented Unedited and Commercial-Free."

The program block premiered Wednesday night. Uncensored turned out to be so heavily censored as to be a joke--or a pathetic publicity stunt.

The opening offering was Art and Outrage, a documentary recap of the '80s-'90s "shock art" genre and the vehement politicians and preachers who unwittingly helped make it such a hit. Interspersed among the valiant speeches by freedom advocates denouncing American prudery toward the human body were still shots of the artworks in question. Any image areas containing genitalia, breasts, or sexual positions was obscured with digital blurring, superimposed big red dots, or both. The same thing happened an hour later with The Last Temptation of Christ. They're gonna show Last Tango in Paris on Thursday--any guesses as to what'll be left of that film when they're through sanitizing it for our protection?

Other cable channels carried on basic or digital-basic tiers have had no problems showing nude scenes now and then (the Independent Film Channel, the History Channel, even A&E on occasion). One would like to imagine that Trio, under new French ownership, would be at least as uninhibited. But apparently non.

posted by clark 12:10 AM

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

DEPT. OF COINCIDENCE: As part of the increasing, much-vilified Kroger-ization of QFC, the formerly Washington-owned supermarket circuit has replaced is store-brand milk label with the "Carnation" logo. The Cincinnati "Distributed By" address on the label gives this away as being a case of the Cin-city-based Kroger having licensed the name from the eco-elite's favorite love-to-hate company, Nestle, which umpteen years back acquired the formerly Washington-owned original Carnation Co., which had its local fresh-milk plant in a building east of the University Village mall, a building now housing a branch of, you guessed it, a certain supermarket chain. (Confused? Good.)

posted by clark 12:30 AM

Tuesday, June 04, 2002

SOUND REASONING: In a recent New York magazine, its tech-media beat writer Michael Wolff has proposed one possible post-MP3 future: A music business that's more like the book business.

Wolff's premise: Manufactured teen-pop acts are rapidly reaching their inevitable sell-by date. Commercial radio is becoming ever more corporate and ever more unlistenable. The Internet, MP3 trading, and home CD-R burning are furthering the indie-rock agenda of shunning rock-star decadence and championing a more direct rapport between artists and audiences.

Therefore, a record industry built around trying to make every release go multiplatinum is doomed. Also doomed is the whole industry infrastructure of waste and hype ("independent" promoters, payola, limos, drugs, hookers, mansions, plastic surgeons, promotional junkets for journalists, etc. etc.)

Instead, recordings will have to be sold more like books are. While there will still be some bestsellers, for the most part artists will carefully construct works that a few people will really love. Street-savvy marketers will promote these works to an infinite array of tiny niche markets.

If Wolff's prediction comes true, we just might also expect a few other changes in the way music is made and sold, such as the following:

• Groupies will start dressing more like undergrad teaching assistants.

• Following the hardcover-paperback timeline, artists will release the deluxe box set first, then the single disc in the plastic jewel box.

• Instead of Jaegermeister and Chee-Tos, chianti and brie.

• Instead of moshpits, discussion circles.

• Volvos replace limos.

• The new "Oprah's Record Club" turns listeners onto the tastefully dramatic, housewife-friendly tuneage of tomorrow's Sarah McLachlans and Natalie Merchants.

• MTV’s schedule includes the highly-edited “reality” adventures of everybody’s favorite wacky celebrity family on The Updikes.

I was going to ponder if ecru sweaters and tweed jackets would become the new rocker uniform, but then I remembered Belle and Sebastian.

posted by clark 1:59 PM

Monday, June 03, 2002

RELIVE THE GLORY DAYS of outrageous fun fashion with images from the 1971 Sears catalog.

posted by clark 11:19 AM

Sunday, June 02, 2002

THE WORLD'S OLDEST humor mag, Britain's venerable Punch, is folding. For the second time. Sorta. (i.e., the website will still be replenished with new material, but no more print issues for the foreseeable future.)

posted by clark 12:40 AM

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