Seattle Scene Chess Set Stranger cover ad parody proposal by Clark Humphrey 1/9/94 (uses Netscape tables) Who rules? Who sucks? Re-create those classic coffeehouse arguments and street stare-downs with the grudge-match of the century: The Franklin Mint's Seattle Scene Chess Set! Take sides in the classic battle for hip supremacy with these colorful injection-molded plastic pieces with the authentic caricatures of your favorite Seattle Scene stars, all on an authentic flannel-backed game board. The Punks (Black Team) The King Kurt Cobain The Queen Courtney Love Bishops Krist Novoselic Dave Grohl Knights Mark Arm(Mudhoney) Mark Lanegan (Screaming Trees) Rooks Tad Doyle(TAD) Selene Vigil(7 Year Bitch) Pawns Eddie Spaghetti (Supersuckers) Carrie Akre (Hammerbox) Ron Nine (Love Battery) Matt Wright (Gas Huffer) Rob Skinner (Pop Sickle) Bon Von Wheelie (Girl Trouble) Tobi Vail (Bikini Kill) Jack Endino The Rockers (White Team) The King Eddie Vedder The Queen Nancy Wilson Bishops Chris Cornell Ann Wilson Knights Layne Staley Geoff Tate(Queensryche) Rooks Jeff Ament Stone Gossard Pawns Shawn Smith (Brad, Satchel) Ty Willman (Green Apple Quick Step) Ben McMillan(Gruntruck) Jeff Gilbert (Almost Live's Lame List) Nick Pollock (My Sister's Machine) Kevin Martin (Candlebox) Adam Czeisler (Sweet Water) David Wayne (Metal Church) All pieces are water- and beer-resistant. Each set comes with an authentic Seagram Crown Royal sack for easy carrying. The perfect accompaniment to those long evenings in a bar waiting for the good band to come on! Once you've ordered your Basic Set, you can continue your collection with these fabulous Additional Sets: The Popsters The King Ken Stringfellow (Posies) The Queen Kim Warnick (Fastbacks) Bishops Jon Auer (Posies) Lulu Gargiulo (Fastbacks) Knights Rusty Willoughby (Flop) Kurt Bloch (a couple of bands) Rooks Scott McCaughey (Young Fresh Fellows) Rob Morgan (Squirrels) Pawns Calvin Johnson (Beat Happening) Jim Basnight (Rockinghams) Joey Kline (Tractors) Larry Steiner (El Steiner) Ed Fotheringham (Icky Joey, et al.) Dave Crider (Mono Men) Gerald Collier (Best Kissers in the World) Rudy Yuly (Tiny Hat Orchestra) The Artistes The King Wayne Horvitz (PigPen, et al.) The Queen Robin Holcomb Bishops Steve Fisk Amy Denio Knights Mary Lake (Common Language) John Massoni (Maxine) Rooks Roderick and Anisa (Sky Cries Mary) Pawns Trimpin Eric Muhs (Notochord) Todd Werny (Diamond Fist Werny) TchKung!'s fire eater Lisa Orth (66 Saints) Alfred Butler (Vexed) Jeff Greinke Rob Angus Your Basic Set costs only $6.66 per month in 13 easy monthly payments. Each Additional Set costs only $24.95. Visa/MC/AMEX accepted (no Discover cards or CODs). Don't be a Loser! Order your Seattle Scene Chess Set today! Special Ordering Information: This is a joke. Do not send in any money. Do you honestly think we could afford the likeness rights to all these celebrities?

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